The Four of Cups is the card of apathy, contemplation, disconnection, indifference, and boredom. This card shows a young man deep in reflection and meditation. He is so engrossed in his own thoughts that he doesn’t notice an outstretched arm offering him a cup. Another three cups lie at his feet, but he does not notice them either.
The Four of Cups reminds us that gratitude is a critical element to every successful relationship. Do not be so self-absorbed that you do not see the wonderful opportunities for happiness around you. Do not be so focused on what you do not have that you overlook what you already have. The Four of Cups is a reminder and a warning to be grateful for what we have.
If you are asking about how someone feels about you and you draw the Four of Cups, it means that this person is feeling bored and indifferent. They are very withdrawn from the world. While going inside of themselves can be a good thing when done meditatively, it can be a problem if this person is using it as an escape from their feelings. This person may be in pain, but desperately trying to avoid it.
This person may also be feeling weary and tired. The excitement has faded, and they are unsure of what direction they should go in next. They feel directionless. They are missing the spark of passion from their lives.
For singles and those embarking on new relationships, the Four of Cups means that this person is feeling withdrawn, bored, and indifferent. They may be afraid of love. They may be afraid of their feelings. They are so self-absorbed that they do not even realize what they have in front of them. They are feeling more focused on what they don’t have, rather than what they already have. This person is having a hard time focusing on new opportunities and relationships because they are so stuck within themselves. Until they have a mindset shift, this person is not ready to move forward.
For existing relationships, the Four of Cups indicates that this person is feeling unexcited and bored with your relationship. They are feeling weary and tired. The initial excitement has faded for them, and they are feeling directionless. This person is withdrawn and not paying attention to the great things that they already have in front of them. The grass is always greener on the other side, but the grass is greenest where you tend to it. You should talk to your partner about how they are feeling, but also remember that if their problem is internal, they will be the ones that need to fix it.
If you are asking about an old flame or an ex’s feelings about you, the Four of Cups indicates that they are too self-absorbed to think about their feelings right now. They are withdrawn, hiding from their feelings. They are afraid to feel their feelings. They are being selfish and the only person they care about right now is themselves. They may even feel like a victim. If you are wondering about getting back together or reconciliation, now is not a good time. They have to get out of their selfish mindset first.
In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, the Four of Cups is a warning. This person is very self-absorbed at the moment. They are careless about other people’s feelings. They cannot see the good that is in front of them, only what they are missing. They believe that the grass is greener on the other side, even when it isn’t. This person is not ready to make a larger commitment in the relationship until their mindset has been shifted to one of gratitude.
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When the Four of Cups is reversed, it means that this person is feeling like they are ready to let go of the past. They are exiting a time of withdrawal and contemplation. They are beginning to look forward to the future, and they see that it has promise. They are opening up to others again with their feelings, and they are ready to become more active in their romantic life again.
They may be feeling grateful for the people and support systems around them. They recognize that while there are always things that they do not have, they are blessed with so much abundance around them. They feel appreciation.
For singles and those in new relationships, the Four of Cups reversed is a sign of feeling ready to let go of their past and embrace their future. They are done with the past baggage that they’ve been carrying around. They are ready to see what a future with you would look like. They are feeling appreciative and grateful, and they recognize that they have a big new opportunity here.
For those in committed relationships, the Four of Cups reversed is a sign of feeling like they are coming out of a rut in the relationship. They’ve spent time alone to think about things, and they are no longer feeling so self-absorbed. They are ready to start a new cycle of fulfillment with you in your relationship. They are feeling grateful and appreciative of you. They know that the grass is not greener on the other side, but rather, where you tend to it most.
If you are asking about an ex’s feelings about you, the Four of Cups reversed means that they are ready to let go of the past and embrace the future. They’ve spent a lot of time contemplating what they’ve done wrong. They feel ready to move on from that. If you are wondering whether or not they want to get back together with you or have a reconciliation, it is possible but only if they see their future with you in it. Otherwise, they are appreciative of you and what you brought them, but ultimately they may want to move on from the past.
In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, the Four of Cups reversed is a positive sign. This person has been selfish in the past. They’ve been indecisive and they’ve felt like they hadn’t explored all of their options. They are now realizing all that they’ve taken for granted. They are feeling excited about the future, and they see that a future with you has promise. They realize that the grass is greener where you water it, and they are feeling ready to see what a more committed relationship and future looks like with you.
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For relationships and feelings, the Four of Cups represents withdrawal and contemplation. This card is inherently philosophical in nature. It is normal for us to want more than we already have, but sometimes, we need to appreciate what is already in front of us. This is critical for any successful relationship.
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