Hermit is the card of self-reflection, solitude, introspection, and wisdom. An old man stands alone at the top of a peak, holding a lantern in one hand and his staff in the other. The Hermit shows that being alone is a necessary part of the cycle of life and relationships, because it connects us with our deeper wisdom and true self.
The Hermit is not a traditional “love” card. It’s easy to feel scared when the Hermit comes up in a love reading. Does it mean that someone doesn’t want to be with you? Remember that there are positives and negatives to be found in every card. In love readings, the Hermit asks us to get in touch with and serve our Wise Self. In order to love others, we must first love ourselves.
If you are asking about what is the outcome of a relationship, and you draw the Hermit, that means that the person you’re interested in is more focused on themselves right now. They could be trying to heal from something or simply just working on bettering themselves. Since the Hermit card can be a quite spiritual card, they could also be on a spiritual path. The Hermit card is astrologically associated with the sign Virgo. Virgo-related topics include day-to-day life, the workplace, and health, so your person could be focusing on those issues.
The Hermit as love outcome is a sign of lack of connection. Your person may isolate themselves to focus on connecting with their Inner Self. Virgo, which the Hermit card is astrologically associated with, is also the sign of virgins and celibacy. Your person may be going through a celibate period. They may prefer to remain celibate for now. Don’t take any of this personally. This person will be open to relationships when they are ready.
If you are wondering about a potential relationship, the Hermit as love outcome means your person is not in a dating mindset right now. They’re busy tending to their inner world. Don’t take this personally, they could be focused on spiritual growth and other responsibilities. If you’re asking about someone you don’t know well yet, they could be shy. There could be something that compels them to keep their feelings secret.
If you are in a new relationship, the Hermit as love outcome means your person isn’t really in the headspace to be in a relationship. This is especially true if they’ve just ended another significant, long-term relationship or just experienced a major life event. They should be focusing on healing. You may find your person preoccupied with their own thoughts or spaced out. Give them space and don’t take it personally if they come off a little quiet.
If you are in an existing relationship, the Hermit as love outcome means your partner still loves you very much. However, they could be going through something in their lives right now. You might notice they’re distant and withdrawn. They need to work on their inner self right now. This could be to process a major life event that has nothing to do with you. Alternatively, they could be soul searching. The Hermit is a very spiritual card, your person could go through a spiritual awakening right now. Whatever the case may be, make sure that you communicate. Transparency is key during these times. You’re advised to give your person time and space, but you also have the right to know what’s going on. Since this card is astrologically associated with Virgo which is ruled by Mercury, communication will be an important factor in the survival of your relationship. It’ll be key in making the relationship work out during this period.
If you are currently in separation with each other, the Hermit as love outcome means your person sees your separation as a life lesson. They appreciate what their relationship with you taught them and they’re doing a lot of inner work. Your person is trying to reconcile what they learned from you with their values and ideals. If your ex is uninterested in a reconciliation with you, don’t take it personally. They’re just not interested in relationships in general. If you’re separated by distance, they might enjoy the space they get in a long distance situation. It doesn’t bother them at all, they’re probably an introvert. However, the Hermit is passive energy. So, if you’re expecting them to move or travel toward you, it’s unlikely to happen.
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If you are asking about what is the outcome of a relationship, and you draw the Hermit reversed, that means that there is an unhealthy lack of connection in your relationship. Your person could seem distant and disconnected, leaving you feeling lonely. Whereas a Hermit in the upright position is self reflective and self aware, in the reverse, they don’t know who they are. They don’t know why they behave and react the way they do. They can’t seem to pinpoint what childhood wounds led to their fear of intimacy. They would rather isolate due to an extreme fear of getting hurt. This card is astrologically associated with the detail-oriented Virgo. Your person is missing important details that are key to their spiritual growth.
The Hermit reversed as love outcome is a sign of an unhealed partner who is not ready to be in a relationship. Relationships require take and give. Your person is not in a position to do that. They have unresolved issues that prevent them from fully giving and receiving love. They feel lost. This can go two ways: they wouldn’t know where to start their healing. With some guidance (and maybe with the assistance of a professional) they can get to the bottom of things. Alternatively, they’ve gone way too deep into a rabbit hole of their own making. The Hermit’s dark side includes navel gazing and being overly preoccupied with the Self. They might come off too self involved.
If you are wondering about a potential relationship, the Hermit reversed as love outcome means there is an energy of disconnection. There’s a lack of communication, interaction, and back and forth. The communication between the two of you is stagnant. The Hermit card is astrologically associated with Virgo, ruled by the planet of communication, Mercury. Maybe one or both of you are just entering into the relationship because you’re afraid of being single. Being in a relationship just because you can’t be alone is unfair to both you and your partner.
If you are in a new relationship, the Hermit reversed as love outcome means you might feel as though your person is emotionally disconnected from you. Find out what the issue is. Do they struggle to let themselves be vulnerable out of fear of getting hurt? They could be dealing with serious mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Maybe they’re not aware of it themselves. Alternatively, they may not know how to convey this to you or they fear judgment. Honest but gentle communication would be very helpful in a situation like this.
If you are in an existing relationship, the Hermit reversed as love outcome means disconnection. This could be a phase, or your person could be going through something. Make sure communication is maintained. Assure your person that you’re going to support them if they’re going through something. They may be depressed and can’t articulate how they feel. Maybe they don’t know how to express their needs to move into a more constructive direction. On the other hand, if you think you may have contributed to them feeling disconnected from you, think of what you can do to rekindle the relationship.
If you are currently in separation with each other, the Hermit as love outcome means your person feels lonely and disconnected from you. For those separated by distance, the lack of human-to-human interaction is really getting to them. If possible, arrange an in-person meeting with them. If you are enquiring about an ex, your person is so lonely they almost feel numb. The struggle with dealing with the breakup. However, it would be best to give them time to soul search. They still have some inner work to do, and it would be best to let them heal before proposing a possible reconciliation.
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For love readings, Hermit reveals our inner wisdom and the strength of our bond with our Self. In order to love others, we must first love ourselves. It shows that codependency is not love. If we are not careful, closeness can become toxic suffocation. The space for individual growth is necessary for a healthy relationship. If you lean into the wisdom of the Hermit, your relationships will become stronger, more confident, and more fulfilled.
If you find yourself needing further clarity in your relationship matters that go beyond reading for yourself, Sibyl offers unlimited tarot readings on love & relationships, as a neutral and objective third party.