Death as Feelings in Love & Relationships (Upright & Reversed)

Death is the card of transformation, change, and rebirth. Although it has a bad reputation (made worse by B-horror movies), Death is actually one of the most positive cards in the Tarot! Death sits upright on his horse, ushering in a new era. Without winter, there is no spring. Death is the other side of life, making rebirth possible. 

Death reminds us to let go of what is not serving us. When we let go of what is no longer healthy, we open ourselves to positivity and possibility. When one door closes, another opens. Similarly, Death signals that a major phase in your life is ending, but another is starting. When we lean into its energy, we can let go of the past and focus on our present and our future. 

Upright Death as Feelings

If you are asking about how someone feels about you, and you draw Death, it means that this person feels accepting of change. They are ready to make a big change, which can be very scary for the both of you. Sometimes, this is “negative” change. Perhaps they have concluded that your relationship dynamics are unhealthy and they are ready to let go. If this is truly the case, do you really want to hold on against the tide? Other times, this is “positive” change. Perhaps they are ready to transform your relationship by committing to the next level with engagement. Either way, the best course of action for you is to embrace this change. 

Death is also a sign of feeling ready to shed past beliefs and behaviors that have been holding this person back. The old version of this person must die before a new version can be reborn out of the ashes. By letting go of unhealthy attachment issues that were not serving them, this person can move forward. They want to put the past behind them and focus on the future. 

For singles and those embarking on new relationships, Death means that this person’s feelings for you are changing. They may feel that meeting you has been a transformative experience for them, and they are entering a new era. Perhaps you’ve helped them shed some negative beliefs and prior baggage that had been holding them back. This may be good news for establishing a relationship with you and taking it to the next level. On the other hand, their feelings for you may have also changed swiftly in the other direction. 

For existing relationships, Death indicates that this person feels ready for a big change. If you have been stuck in emotional dynamics that are no longer working, this can indicate that they are thinking about ending the relationship. Alternatively, they can also be accepting that change needs to be made, taking this in a positive direction for the relationship. No matter what, how things were is no longer where things will be. To have a healthier, stronger relationship, you will need to embrace this period of transformation and change as well.  

If you are asking about an old flame or an ex’s feelings about you, Death indicates that your ex accepts the end of the relationship. With one ending comes a new beginning, and your ex is embracing this change. Rather than looking backward, your ex is looking forward, and you should do the same. If reconciliation is a possibility, your relationship will not go back to what it was. It will be different, transformed by change. 

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, Death as feelings indicates that this person is ready for a transformative change. This could mean that they are ready to move your relationship forward to the next level. They are ready for a new era in your relationship, and they’re excited for it. Alternatively, they could have decided against further commitment and instead want to move on from the relationship. Which way they are thinking is context-dependent, and you will know soon. No matter what, they are embracing change, and so should you. 

Reversed Death as Feelings

When Death is reversed, it means that this person feels a strong resistance to change. This person feels stagnant, even stuck. However, they are unwilling to do what it takes to move forward, simply because it feels very scary to them. If you are in an existing relationship, this person may be somewhat codependent. They are motivated more by fear than by love. In order for them to have a truly healthy relationship, they must make the move to embrace change. If they cannot do this, the ball is in your court. 

Death reversed is a sign of feeling entrenched in negative emotional patterns. Are you hanging onto a relationship that is past its expiration date? Sometimes, we stay with people because we are scared of being alone. Ask yourself if this relationship is still helping you and your partner as individuals. In order to engage in a truly loving relationship, you have to break out of any negative, vicious cycles. When we work on healing our past hurts and give ourselves self-love, we will find the love we deserve. 

For singles and those in new relationships, Death reversed is a sign of feeling indecisive about where your potential relationship is headed. This person feels resistant to change. They do not feel willing to get out of their comfort zone. To truly engage in a loving relationship, a person must be adaptable, as well as considerate of the other person. This person may have self-esteem issues, trauma, or previous relationship baggage that they need to deal with before they can move forward. 

For those in committed relationships, Death reversed is a sign of feeling stagnant. This person is stuck, yet they are also stubborn and unwilling to change. They may feel dependent on you and the relationship–to an unhealthy extent. They are here, and they intend to stay put–not out of true commitment, but because they feel obligated and they are scared of being alone. Take a hard look at what is driving your relationship. If it is coming from a place of fear rather than a place of love, something needs to change. An open, honest conversation can do wonders here. 

If you are asking about an ex’s feelings about you, Death reversed means that they are having a very tough time moving on. Rather than embracing change, they are constantly second-guessing themselves. If your relationship ended due to interpersonal conflict, they have not yet done the hard work of looking at themselves and fixing the core issues. They feel stuck in the past, but are unwilling to do what it takes to break the cycle. Reconciliation is a possibility, but for it to be a healthy one, this person needs to let go of the past and embrace a mindset of growth and change. 

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, Death reversed indicates that this person will not move forward with a “yes,” but neither will they answer you with a “no.” This person does not feel ready to make a change. They don’t believe that they have to make a decision. They are comfortable with the current situation, and they feel scared of being alone. If this rings true for you, ask yourself what self-esteem issues, savior complexes, or prior wounds you must heal in order to find a partner who loves and respects you and your time.   

Conclusion

For relationships and feelings, Death reveals the power of transformative change. For the end of every cycle comes the beginning of another. In order to grow, we must shed beliefs and behaviors that are no longer serving us. Death can mean the literal end of a relationship. Equally, it can mean the end of one phase in your relationship and beginning of another. There is no life without Death. Embrace the transformative energy of this card to feel radically empowered. 

If you find yourself needing further clarity in your relationship matters that go beyond reading for yourself, Sibyl offers unlimited tarot readings on love & relationships, as a neutral and objective third party.