Five of Wands as Feelings in Love & Relationships (Upright & Reversed)

The Five of Wands is the card of conflict, tension, competition, and clashes of ego. The card depicts five men all armed with wands fighting each other in a competitive battle. These men are rivals, and they are duking it out to see who can come out on top. This can either come from intense conflict or good-hearted competition, depending on how you look at it. 

The Five of Wands reminds us that conflict is a part of life. Conflict cannot be avoided forever. Conflict comes up in every relationship, good and bad. It is not conflict itself that causes issues, but how we handle it. The Five of Wands reminds us that we can choose how we handle conflict. We can choose to do this with hostility, or we can choose to do this with grace and kindness. 

Upright Five of Wands as Feelings

If you are asking about how someone feels about you and you draw the Five of Wands, it means that this person is feeling conflicted about how they feel about you. On one hand, they like you a lot. On the other hand, there may be some external circumstances that make the situation complicated. At the same time, they are not willing to walk away from you and the situation, because they hold out hope that everything will work out in the end.

This person can also feel challenged by you in a good way. The way you have bantered with this person has made them more intrigued by you. You’ve given this person a lot to think about. They are not avoidant of conflict, but excited by it. They may be feeling like they have to compete for you and your affections. They want to know where this relationship can take them. 

For singles and those embarking on new relationships, the Five of Wands means that this person’s feelings towards you are conflicted and even a little jealous. This person definitely likes you a lot, but there are some external circumstances that they feel like are making your relationship complicated. This person may be feeling jealous. They are worried that they have to compete against other people and other interests for your affections. They need to be reassured that you do like them back as well. 

For existing relationships, the Five of Wands indicates that this person feels there are conflicts that need to be solved in your relationship. They love you, and they are not willing to walk away. They want to fight for your relationship. That being said, it’s time for you and this person to have an honest conversation about where the two of you stand right now. What are your goals and values? Are they shared? Where do you want to go from here? This may just be what you need right now to take your relationship to the next level.  

If you are asking about an old flame or an ex’s feelings about you, the Five of Wands indicates that they feel conflicted about you. Your relationship had many positives. That being said, it had its negatives as well. Your ex isn’t completely over the relationship. If you are asking about whether reconciliation is in your future, it is possible, if the core conflicts of your past relationship can be solved.  

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, the Five of Wands is a sign that you need to settle your core conflicts in the relationship first. Your partner loves you and is not willing to let you go, but they want to make sure that you are on the same page. Now is the time for the two of you to have a serious talk about what each of you want in the future, and if that future can be shared together.  

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Reversed Five of Wands as Feelings

When the Five of Wands is reversed, it means that this person is feeling avoidant. This person may be passive aggressive towards you. Rather than saying what they are feeling openly and honestly, they beat around the bush. They feel scared of having difficult conversations. This often stems from their own childhood experiences and how they’ve seen people around them resolve conflict. 

This person may also be bottling up their resentment to avoid conflicts. Though they can do this to prevent a short-term conflict, this will not work in the long-term. In the long term, their grievances will eventually bubble to the surface and explode. They need to remember that their needs deserve to be heard, but they cannot be heard unless they are stated openly and honestly. 

For singles and those in new relationships, the Five of Wands reversed is a sign of feeling passive aggressive and avoidant. This person feels scared to express themselves directly. Even if the changes that they want to bring about are small, they are terrified of an open conversation. Unless they can change their behavior to be open and honest, it will be difficult to build a relationship with them for the long term. Ask yourself what you want to get out of this connection and go from there. 

For those in committed relationships, the Five of Wands reversed is a sign of feeling frustrated with certain aspects of your relationship. You may have experienced communication issues with this person in the past. Remember that it is these communication issues that need to be solved first before anything else can be addressed. Now is a good time for you to try to open up the conversation with them, even if it is very uncomfortable for them.  

If you are asking about an ex’s feelings about you, the Five of Wands reversed means that they feel badly about how the relationship ended. They still think about your relationship. However, they feel avoidant. They have their head buried in the sand about the real issues. If you are wondering about reconciliation, this person is not going to initiate the conversation about it. 

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, the Five of Wands reversed means that they do not know how to communicate their thoughts, feelings, and needs around the topic. As a result, they would rather just avoid the subject together. They are afraid of change, even if the change would make their life more positive. This person needs to learn how to communicate more clearly in order to make this a successful relationship. 

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Conclusion

For relationships and feelings, the Five of Wands represents conflict. Conflict is not a bad thing in itself, and it is present in every relationship. It is not conflict that is the problem, but how we deal with conflict. There are positive and negative ways to resolve conflict. The Five of Wands reminds us that we have a choice in how we communicate with others. We can either be honest and compassionate, or we can be avoidant and passive aggressive. We decide how we react to a situation. 

If you find yourself needing further clarity in your relationship matters that go beyond reading for yourself, Sibyl offers unlimited tarot readings on love & relationships, as a neutral and objective third party.