Hermit as Reconciliation (Upright & Reversed) Tarot Card Meaning

The Hermit is the card of self-reflection, solitude, introspection, and wisdom. An old man stands alone at the top of a peak, holding a lantern in one hand and his staff in the other. The Hermit shows that being alone is a necessary part of the cycle of life and relationships, because it connects us with our deeper wisdom and true self. 

The Hermit is not a traditional “love” card. It’s easy to feel scared when the Hermit comes up in a love reading. Does it mean that someone doesn’t want to be with you? Remember that there are positives and negatives to be found in every card. In love readings, the Hermit asks us to get in touch with and serve our Wise Self. In order to love others, we must first love ourselves. 

Upright Hermit as Reconciliation

If you are asking about how someone feels about reconciling with you, and you draw the Hermit, then it means that your ex isn’t looking for a new relationship at the moment, even with you. This is their time to take a moment to focus on themselves. They just want to be alone and work on themselves before they’re ready to form deep, romantic connections with others. They aren’t ready to bare themselves to someone else, and that’s okay, we all need time to develop insights about ourselves and connect with our inner wisdom.

Additionally, this can also indicate that they’re afraid to be vulnerable. They’re very shy people and they feel like they need to keep their feelings hidden in order to protect themselves. They want to form a deep connection with someone else, but can’t bring themselves to get out of their heads. They feel safer to hide and intellectualize emotional problems rather than just letting themselves feel.

The Hermit as reconciliation can mean that your ex would rather focus on themselves at the moment. It is essential for your person to spend time alone and find themselves before moving forward and pursuing a relationship. Don’t take it personally, it’s not your fault or anything, this is just what your person needs. Just give them their space and respect their decision.

When your ex thinks about reconciliation with you, chances are, they aren’t. No one else is on their mind at the moment besides themselves, not even you. Your ex does love you, there’s no doubt about it, but they need some soul-searching. There’s something missing that they can’t quite put their finger on, and they know that the answer lies within them. They just can’t think straight when they have another person on their mind, unless they explicitly ask for you to stay with them as they soul-search.

If you’ve recently split up, your ex is grateful for the time you’ve spent together and the memories you’ve shared. They’ve learnt a lot and will cherish it forever, however, they need time and space to do their own thing right now. They want to put themselves first and as a good partner, you’ve got to let them. They want to connect with their inner self and grow.

If you’ve been in separation for a while, then it just means that their soul-searching isn’t over yet. You are not on their mind and neither is reconciliation. Maybe you can take this time to do some soul-searching yourself because until they’ve found what they’re looking for, they cannot spare you a thought. Again, don’t take it personally though. There’s a chance that they’ll want to reconcile after they’ve found themselves, but until then, don’t hold your breath.

If the two of you are still considering whether or not you should break up, then it’s time to take a moment and sit down with each other. Have a nice honest talk and discuss what the future looks like for you two. It’s possible that your partner wants to go on their journey with you by their side, but it’s also possible that they’d rather do it alone. Have a talk, feel it out, and ultimately, respect whatever decision they come to. These talks can be uncomfortable, but they will strengthen your relationship in the long run. 

Reversed Hermit as Reconciliation

If you are asking about how someone feels about reconciling with you, and you draw the Hermit reversed it represents your ex’s feelings of isolation, loneliness, and disconnection. They are lost without you. While the upright Hermit represents healthy self-reflection, the reversed Hermit takes the extreme opposite of it. Instead of them actively taking this chance to self-reflect on their own terms, they feel like they have no say in this distance and feelings of loneliness — they didn’t choose this, it was more likely forced upon them. 

The Hermit reversed also indicates feeling lost and directionless. They’re afraid of intimate connection because they’ve been isolated from everyone for so long. Their self-reflection period lasted too long for comfort and suddenly they don’t know how to interact with everyone else again. It started out as a noble cause, but now they’re trapped in isolation. They don’t know how to get out of it and they’ve reached a point where they’d rather stay isolated than risk vulnerability through emotional connections. This works both ways though, they could also be craving for some time alone but the thought of asking for time alone is very overwhelming to them.

The Hermit reversed as feelings of reconciliation can mean that they have difficulties with communicating what they want and need, so they don’t know how to reach back out to you. They feel disconnected and are afraid of being vulnerable which makes it hard for them to maintain an intimate connection with anyone. But, the thing is they want to be alone but they’re afraid of loneliness. Try reaching out and checking up on them because they could be depressed.

When your person thinks about reconciliation with you, the Hermit reversed means that they feel even more disconnected and lonely without you in their life. They know this, and they want you back in their life. The soul-searching period is over and it doesn’t seem to be fruitful because they found the isolation painful. They’ve realized that isolation is not for them and will probably be reaching out to you soon.

If you’ve recently split up, just give it some time. Communication is hard for them and they’re still very damaged. The thought of being vulnerable with someone else still scares them but they know that it’s necessary in order to maintain a connection with you. They will be willing to try again, just give them some time and space — stay close but not too close.

If you’ve been in separation for a while, then reconnection is around the corner. They’ve absolutely had enough of the constant loneliness and emptiness they feel. Your person wants you back in their lives and it’s up to you to decide whether you want to take them back or not. Remember that they still need a healthy amount of space, but be sure to let them know that you’re still there for them.

If the two of you are still considering whether or not you should break up, then the Hermit reversed means that you need to have honest conversations with your partner. It’ll be difficult for them, but it’s important for you to take the time to sit down with them and talk about the things on their mind. This is a great time to bridge the gap between you two and reconnect. You’re both probably feeling disconnected from each other at this time, but this isn’t necessarily a sign to break up. Address the disconnection, support your partner, and encourage them to open up. Help make them feel safe and your relationship will fall back on track.

Conclusion

For relationships and reconciliation, Hermit reveals our inner wisdom and the strength of our bond with our Self. In order to love others, we must first love ourselves. It shows that codependency is not love. If we are not careful, closeness can become toxic suffocation. The space for individual growth is necessary for a healthy relationship. If you lean into the wisdom of the Hermit, your relationships will become stronger, more confident, and more fulfilled.

If you find yourself needing further clarity in your relationship matters that go beyond reading for yourself, Sibyl offers unlimited tarot readings on love & relationships, as a neutral and objective third party.