Nine of Wands as Feelings in Love & Relationships (Upright & Reversed)

The Nine of Wands is the card of resilience, persistence, courage, and boundaries. The card shows an injured man clutching a wand. He looks anxious and weary. He’s already been through a lot, but he is very close to reaching his goal.  

The Nine of Wands reminds us that challenges are a part of life and every relationship. Nothing is perfectly good or perfectly bad. Everything has its own challenges. Our endurance and persistence shows the strength of our character. Additionally, this card also reminds us that healthy boundaries are necessary for successful relationships. 

Upright Nine of Wands as Feelings

If you are asking about how someone feels about you and you draw the Nine of Wands, it means that this person is feeling like they are willing to make sacrifices for you. They want to make your relationship work, and they are willing to fight for it. They feel like they see the value in resilience and grit. They see how far you have come together, and they will not let it go to waste.

This person also feels like they can work through problems together with you as a team. You’ve faced your share of challenges together before, but they feel sure that you can overcome anything that life throws at you. They support you unconditionally. They feel ready to protect you should anything or anyone try to come between the two of you. 

For singles and those embarking on new relationships, the Nine of Wands means that this person is feeling like they are ready to commit and see where things go with you. Though they are not 100% sure on everything about the relationship, they feel that they have enough confidence to move forward. They want to make it work. They know that things will not always be rainbows and sunshine all of the time, but they want to see it through. This is a good sign for a new partner.  

For existing relationships, the Nine of Wands indicates that this person feels that your relationship is worth fighting for. This person feels like they’ve been through everything with you, both the thick and the thin. They’ve seen you at your best and at your worst. Even during the bad times, they find hope in the good that is yet to come. They trust in you and they believe that your relationship has resilience and grit. They know when to push and when to compromise. This person is a winner.

If you are asking about an old flame or an ex’s feelings about you, the Nine of Wands indicates that they have had a change of heart, and they are willing to fight for the two of you again. They have reached a turning point. If you are asking about reconciliation, this is a good sign. You may hear from them soon about giving it another shot.  

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, the Nine of Wands signals that your partner wants to make it work. They feel that your relationship has enough grit and resilience to last for the long term. Now is a great time for the two of you to discuss where you’d like to take the relationship.  

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Reversed Nine of Wands as Feelings

When the Nine of Wands is reversed, it means that this person is feeling defensive. They feel like they’ve put in their best efforts, but things are not panning out how they had hoped. They are feeling drained from all of the fighting and disagreements. They feel like they are having to pick up most of the slack, and they feel frustrated and upset. 

They may also be feeling paranoid. They are feeling insecure. This could be because the boundaries you’ve set around your relationship are unclear. They could be worried about the status of the relationship. They might feel jealous of third parties who may be jeopardizing the relationship. 

For singles and those in new relationships, the Nine of Wands reversed is a sign of feeling insecure, defensive, and even jealous. They are unsure of where the two of you stand. Have you had a talk to define the boundaries of your relationship? Without boundaries, they do not know what their role should be, and this makes them feel confused. They may be worried that you are seeing other people, and their paranoia is getting the best of them. Remember that it’s important to define the relationship for all parties.  

For those in committed relationships, the Nine of Wands reversed is a sign of feeling frustrated. They feel like they’ve put in a lot of effort into the relationship, but it isn’t reaping their desired rewards. It’s natural for all relationships to have ebbs and flows. Now is a good time for the two of you to realign on what is important to each of you. Are both of your needs being met? Remember that it takes two to tango in a relationship, and sometimes success means compromise.  

If you are asking about an ex’s feelings about you, the Nine of Wands reversed means that they are still hung up on you. They feel bitter about how the relationship ended, and they are unsure on whether or not they want to try again or move on. However, they are still struggling to come to terms with the role they played in the breakup. Until they realize that they contributed to the end of the relationship as well, they will not be able to see the situation clearly. If you are asking about the possibility of reconciliation, know that they have to confront some of their own issues first.  

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, the Nine of Wands reversed means that they are feeling like there are still gaps for the two of you to overcome before making a larger commitment. They are feeling insecure and defensive about the relationship. Where are their feelings stemming from? Is it valid or are they projecting? Now is a good time for the two of you to have a talk about where you stand. This is the roadblock that you need to clear up before moving forward. 

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Conclusion

For relationships and feelings, the Nine of Wands represents resilience and boundaries. Both of these qualities are necessary for any successful relationship. Even if they may not lead to the most fun conversations, they are necessary for success. The Nine of Wands reminds us that great relationships are built on the persistence of the everyday, not just big ideas or fleeting feelings of desire. 

If you find yourself needing further clarity in your relationship matters that go beyond reading for yourself, Sibyl offers unlimited tarot readings on love & relationships, as a neutral and objective third party.