Temperance as Feelings in Love & Relationships (Upright & Reversed)

Temperance is the card of moderation, balance, harmony, and patience. An angel stands, with one foot in the water and the other foot firmly planted on land. The angel pours water between two cups, symbolizing the flow and alchemy of life. 

Temperance reminds us that we must avoid going to extremes. We are often best-served by taking a moderate, patient, and balanced view towards life. Temperance reminds us that caution, prudence, and thoughtfulness have their place. They can often bring more reward in the long-term than a passionate outburst based only on a whim. To maintain harmonious relationships, working together to find compromise is often necessary. 

Upright Temperance as Feelings

If you are asking about how someone feels about you, and you draw Temperance, it means that this person feels patient and empathetic. They feel in sync with you and deeply connected. They are grateful for you, because they see you as a true partner who brings about stability and harmony. This person does not go to extremes in their feelings, but it does not mean that they do not care for you–on the contrary, they deeply appreciate you. This card is a great sign for those who are looking to enter or continue a long-term relationship. 

Temperance is also a sign of being prudent, thoughtful, patient, and circumspect. Let this person come to their own conclusions on their own time. Being pushy will not get you the result that you want. This person values moderation, balance, and finding the “middle path” of compromise. Though this may be frustrating for some, understand that this is the way for long-term stability.  

For singles and those embarking on new relationships, Temperance means that this person feels very connected with you. Their dynamic with you is harmonious and stable, and they feel that they can communicate with you in a way that meets both of your needs. This is an excellent card if you are looking to begin a long-term relationship. 

For existing relationships, Temperance indicates that this person feels happy with your relationship. They are content, because they find your relationship harmonious and balanced. This is a good sign for a stable relationship. Your patience, moderation, empathy, and compassion are benefitting your relationship considerably. Continue down this “middle path,” and you will bear the fruit of harmony. 

If you are asking about an old flame or an ex’s feelings about you, Temperance indicates that your ex accepts the end of the relationship. Their feelings for you may once have been passionate and full of extremes. Now, having spent time away from you, they have brought everything back into balance. If your relationship ended because of an excess of feelings, this new balance bodes well for a potential reconciliation. Just make sure that you have done that healing on your end as well. 

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, Temperance as feelings indicates that this person is seriously considering it. Though they have deep feelings for you, this person is prudent, thoughtful, and analytical. They will come to a decision in their own time. On your end, Temperance suggests being patient. Balance and harmony will give you the result that you want. 

Reversed Temperance as Feelings

When Temperance is reversed, it means that this person feels unstable and extreme in their emotions. They are the definition of feeling “hot and cold.” Their feelings change on a whim, based on who they’ve talked to or what they’ve had for breakfast. At the outset, hot and cold feelings are exciting and bring passion into a relationship. However, if they are never stabilized and remain unchecked, it is a recipe for disaster. Long-term relationships are built on stability. 

Temperance reversed is a sign of feeling entrenched in all or nothing behavioral patterns when it comes to love. Are you hanging onto a relationship that is abusive or no longer serving you? Ask yourself if this relationship is still helping you and your partner as individuals. In order to engage in a truly loving relationship, you have to break out of the mindset that loss is love. When we work on healing our past hurts and give ourselves self-love, we will discover that we deserve stability. 

For singles and those in new relationships, Temperance reversed is a sign of feeling indecisive about where your potential relationship is headed. Sometimes, this person feels a fiery passion toward you. Other times, they are as cold as ice. This person either tends towards extremes or feels that you tend towards extremes. While volatility is fun and can make a relationship exciting, too much of it is ultimately not healthy for a stable relationship. What dynamic do you want for the long term? 

For those in committed relationships, Temperance reversed is a sign of hot and cold feelings. When you do something accidentally displeasing, does your partner immediately reject you? Are they so demanding that they constantly move the goalposts? Yet, when you fight, do they come back to you with a renewed and lusty passion? Although fluctuation in feelings is normal in any relationship, extreme volatility is not healthy. If you can both communicate your needs honestly, you will be able to get your relationship to more stable ground. 

If you are asking about an ex’s feelings about you, Temperance reversed means that they feel wildly indecisive. Sometimes, they yearn deeply for what you had, and want you back. Other times, they feel “done” with it. Their emotions swing from one extreme to the other about you. This may mean that they are willing to reconcile with you. However, you should make sure that they are not just acting in their feelings of the moment, because their feelings are apt to change swiftly. 

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, Temperance reversed indicates that this person feels hot and cold about it, depending on the moment. Sometimes, they truly believe in a “yes,” and other times, they are adamant in their “no.” When it comes to forging something stable for the long term, this person needs to temper their emotions, even if they do say they want to move forward in the moment. 

Conclusion

For relationships and feelings, Temperance reveals the power of patience, compassion, and understanding. When we try to force relationships and people to go the way we want, it can often implode in our face. Temperance urges us to embrace patience, moderation, compromise, diplomacy, and the middle path. When we lean into these qualities, we build trust. Over time, trust solidifies into a rock-solid foundation for a great relationship. 

If you find yourself needing further clarity in your relationship matters that go beyond reading for yourself, Sibyl offers unlimited tarot readings on love & relationships, as a neutral and objective third party.