Ten of Wands as Feelings in Love & Relationships (Upright & Reversed)

The Ten of Wands is the card of burden, responsibility, obligation, duty, stress, and burnout. The card depicts a man carrying a large bundle of sticks. His back is bent by the weight of the sticks. He is weighed down by the heavy load. However, he is almost at his destination. He will soon be able to release the burden that he is bearing.  

The Ten of Wands reminds us that life does not come without corresponding baggage and responsibility. Sometimes, it’s when we feel most burned out that we are nearest to the end of a cycle. The Ten of Wands urges us to look at whether or not the burdens we carry are adding net positive value to our lives. Duty and obligation can be for the greater good, or it can be at our own detriment. 

Upright Ten of Wands as Feelings

If you are asking about how someone feels about you and you draw the Ten of Wands, it means that this person is feeling stressed out. Duty and obligation has been weighing heavily on them. Sometimes, their love life feels like just another burden for them to carry, rather than something that could help lighten their load. 

This person is feeling afraid to ask for help. They are holding their burden all inside themselves. They are neglecting themselves, even though what they need the most right now may be to spend time with themselves. This person may also be feeling guilty about being weighed down by their past baggage.

For singles and those embarking on new relationships, the Ten of Wands means that this person is still feeling weighed down by past baggage. As people, we all have a history that we bring into new relationships. However, if we are still holding tightly onto the past, it comes at the expense of our future. Remember that this has nothing to do with you or your worthiness. If this person is not ready for a relationship at this time, the timing just might not be there.  

For existing relationships, the Ten of Wands indicates that this person feels stressed and weighed down by obligation. They are in dire need of a shift in perspective. They need to remember that as their partner, you are here to help them lighten the load. Remind them that they do not have to go it alone in life. You are there as their confidante. If things continue as is, it will only result in burnout.  

If you are asking about an old flame or an ex’s feelings about you, the Ten of Wands indicates that they still feel burdened by the ending of your relationship. They are still holding on to all of the baggage of your relationship. On one hand, they are refusing to let you go. On the other hand, they haven’t yet done the work on themselves to see where they could improve. For reconciliation, a true reconciliation is only possible when they have done the work to recognize their part in the breakup and vow to truly change in the future. 

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, the Ten of Wands is a sign that your partner needs to stop seeing the next step as a burden, but rather as something exciting. Something is preventing them from looking at this the right way. Now is a good time for the two of you to have a talk to dig deeper into why they are feeling the way they do. How can both of your needs be met? 

Reversed Ten of Wands as Feelings

When the Ten of Wands is reversed, it means that this person is feeling like they have to do it all themselves. They are struggling to do it all. Even though they need help, they are scared of what it means to ask for help from others. They are internalizing rather than externalizing their pain. 

Alternatively, this person may finally be at the precipice. They have carried the burden for far too long. They are feeling ready to let go and release the burdens of the past. They are ready to set down the weight off of their shoulders. 

For singles and those in new relationships, the Ten of Wands reversed is a sign of feeling weighed down by burdens, but hesitant to share the burden with others. If the person is particularly independent, this will often be the case. They need to learn that the good thing about being in a relationship is that you have someone to share your life’s burdens with. Alternatively, if the two of you have been struggling with past baggage that’s being brought into the relationship, this person may finally be feeling like they are ready to let go of their past baggage. They want to make it work with you. They are choosing their future over the past.  

For those in committed relationships, the Ten of Wands reversed is a sign of internalizing their stressors. They do not want to hurt you or burden you with their pain. They might have great intentions in not wanting to burden you, but ultimately, holding their burdens from you creates distance between the two of you. Now is a good time for you to have an honest conversation about what you both need out of the relationship.  

If you are asking about an ex’s feelings about you, the Ten of Wands reversed means that they have let go of your relationship. It was a significant relationship for them. They’ve spent time appreciating both the good and the bad. However, they are at a point in their life where they are ready to move on. It doesn’t mean that they do not care, but rather they are looking towards their future rather than their past right now. If you are asking about reconciliation, it is not likely to happen at this moment.  

In the context of whether or not a relationship is headed for commitment, engagement, or marriage, the Ten of Wands reversed is a sign that this person needs to learn how to share their feelings with you, both good and bad, before you take that next step. For a greater commitment to work out in the long term, they cannot be hiding their burdens from you, even if they are doing it with the best of intentions. If you can work out these communication issues, you can take it to the next level.  

Conclusion

For relationships and feelings, the Ten of Wands represents burdens and obligations. This can be viewed both positively and negatively, depending on the context. Too much can weigh us down. But without any duty, we are not tightly bound to the people we love. The Ten of Wands reminds us that there is good and bad in the baggage we carry. Ultimately, we have to judge whether or not it is for our own greater good. 

If you find yourself needing further clarity in your relationship matters that go beyond reading for yourself, Sibyl offers unlimited tarot readings on love & relationships, as a neutral and objective third party.